CHANGED BY TRAUMA: HELPING YOUTH COPE IN THE AFTERMATH OF TRAGEDY

By Debra Whiting Alexander, Ph.D.

City bombings, random acts of crime, wars, violence at home and school…today, a growing number of children are victims and witnesses to acts of human cruelty -- and even second-hand exposure to trauma can be problematic. Children have experienced more and more events that are beyond normal human experience, and what they have learned is that life is not safe.

Most adults are not prepared for the experience of helping youth through such intense emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual injuries. The effects can be far-reaching. Not only does trauma impact learning (students can't learn when they aren't relaxed), it can change the whole course of a child's or adolescent's continued healthy development. Schools have the unique opportunity to respond to traumatized children in a number of helpful ways, but it can be difficult to know where to begin and what to do.

Common Reactions

It's natural for all children impacted by trauma to feel, think and behave differently in response to an abnormal event in their lives. Intense emotions, frightening thoughts, physical symptoms, and spiritual confusion are all normal reactions following a life-changing event.

Children and teens cope in a variety of ways to overwhelming stress. A few of the more common symptoms include: anxiety, worry, anger, sadness, nightmares, and fear. Some kids become overactive, while others appear lethargic and withdrawn. They may complain of physical aches and pains, have difficulty concentrating in class, and have trouble sleeping or eating. They may want to avoid friends, social activities and school. Some children will talk repeatedly about what happened, while others will refuse to discuss it at all. They may display aggressive behaviors, and express distressing and repeated themes in play, art or writing. All ages may act younger than they are. Separation anxiety and clinginess are especially common.

Encourage Open Discussion

The more children and teens are able to talk about and/or express what happened with people who understand, the sooner the difficulties will diminish. Most children, however, regardless of their age, need help identifying their thoughts and feelings following a tragedy. They also benefit from a structured environment in which they are permitted to talk directly about what happened and learn effective coping skills.

What you can do:

• Help kids feel safe. Address common fears and adjust for them in daily routines.
• Provide physical comfort. It's especially important for younger children, but everyone benefits from a nurturing environment.
• Take time to listen. Allow for structured opportunities to listen to all thoughts and feelings that students want to voluntarily share. Teens especially may have a need to analyze and fully discuss with one another what happened and why.
• Address concerns and answer questions. Keep your answers and explanations simple and direct. Children want real facts. Be honest without sharing graphic or disturbing details. If you don't know the answer to a question, be honest about that too. Correct any distortions and misinformation you hear.
• Remain composed. Provide a calm, serious and undramatic response to what children say and ask.
• Use open questions. To help facilitate discussions ask questions like, "What is your understanding about what happened?" "What would you like to know?"
• Create a climate of acceptance. Don't criticize, judge or shame a child for anything they say or do and make sure everyone in your group or class understands this rule. Accept and validate everything that is expressed.
• Understand cultural differences. Some behaviors and styles of expression within your student population may be common to their culture. Be careful not to assume that behaviors different from your own mean they are trauma-induced problems.
• Educate. Reassure students that the more they tell the story, the less intense and frightening the emotions become. Help them understand the wide range of normal reactions they can expect to see and prepare them for what may be different in the days, weeks and months ahead. Remind younger children that thoughts and feelings can't make bad things happen.
• Talk about changes. Ask children about the ways they feel different and what they notice in those around them. Normalize their examples and acknowledge the common and unique ways all have felt changed by the experience.

Decrease Stress

Like adults, children and youth will react to stress differently and have varying thresholds for it. Minimize stress whenever you can.

What you can do:

• Take time to relax. Be flexible and lower your expectations of children for a while. Take breaks through the day and help children relax through simple breathing exercises, silent meditation/prayer, classical music or taking walks where the sounds of nature can be heard.
• Model coping tools. Explain what you do to help yourself. Brainstorm with kids other ways they can take care of themselves.
• Hold parent meetings. Educate families about trauma reactions and ways families and caregivers can help. Your job as a teacher, administrator or counselor will be made easier when parents have the tools and understanding of how best to support their kids.
• Maintain routines. There is comfort in the predictable routines in life. Make sure children know what to expect throughout the day.
• Monitor media. Review for age-appropriate content and themes. Even some family movies can restimulate post-trauma stress.
• Increase supervision. Prevent unsupervised gatherings and emotional drama at school by monitoring halls closely and having supportive adults available to all kids throughout the day.
• Be proactive. Provide a way to channel energies into constructive activities like helping others.

Reassure And Remind

All children need the loving support of the adults around them in order to regain a sense of security and trust. They need to know that no matter what happens, the adults around them will do everything in their power to keep them safe.

What you can do:

• Remind children of what went right. You might ask, "Who helped?" "What good things happened when we needed them to?" "What unexpected things have people done to help others?"
• Address issues of death concretely. Let kids know the greater the loss, the longer the time it will take to feel better again. Acknowledge that death is permanent and sad and that grieving is a process. Reassure them that it won't always feel as sad as it does right now.
• Empower. Give children choices and outlets for expressing thoughts and feelings. Help them regain a sense of power and control. Review general safety rules and precautions and practice problem-solving skills.
• Identify resources. Help students think about all the outside resources they have to support their continued healing. Family members, counselors, nurses, doctors, friends, clergy and spiritual beliefs and values can be helpful resources to seek out for extra help.
• Renew hope. Help kids understand that trauma is a part of life, but not all of it. Explain that they won't forget what happened, but can survive the memory. Reassure them that healing happens even in the hurt.

Most kids recover from a trauma without professional assistance, but others may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or other persistent problems that will require help from someone trained in treating post-trauma stress.

Children are changed by trauma and although the emotional recovery process isn't easy or quick, it is possible to find hope and healing in the aftermath. The support children receive from caring adults after a tragedy can help them avoid long-term emotional harm. The school environment is an important, if not critical piece to children's adjustment and full recovery.

Editor's Note

Debra Whiting Alexander, Ph.D., is the creator of The Emotional Recovery Resource Kit, a new resource developed for parents, educators and counselors working with children recovering from traumatic life events. Each resource kit includes:

• 1 How to Help Children Feel Better About Tomorrow: A Guide for Parents, Educators, and Counselors, which covers what to expect when children have had a traumatic experience, helpful ways to respond, guidelines for answering children's questions and specific suggestions for classroom use



• 30 Copies of I Can Feel Better!, a take home resource for children that provides techniques that they can use to make themselves feel better



• 1 copy of What Tomorrow May Bring, a story/activity book that helps children understand that they can recover from traumatic life events

The Emotional Recovery Resource Kit will be available throught The Bureau For At-Risk Youth beginning April 2002. For more information on this new resource, email jenb@guidancechannel.com.