It is not only important to try to prevent future bullying, it is also crucial to work on diminishing the effects of the bullying. Bullying can damage a student`s self-esteem, willingness to trust peers, and ability to make friends with other students. Help curb these profoundly negative effects by taking the following steps.
- Provide a student who has been bullied with a place to interact with peers completely separate from the place/social setting of the bullying. If the student is bullied at school, enroll him/her in a sport or class at a community center in a different town or neighborhood. Give the student a chance to interact with other students who are not aware of the bullying situation. Positive peer encounters in the new setting will not only boost the student`s self-esteem and social network, but will provide a welcome "fresh start" on friendships with peers.
- Involve a student who has been bullied in peer interactions based on his/her interests. If the student likes music, check out local community center student`s choirs. If the student enjoys games, find a chapter or even a tournament circuit for his/her age group. Provide the student with a place where his/her interest is shared by others. Involvement with peers who share the same interests (even if they do not attend the same school) can provide a network of friends and can jump-start self-esteem.
- Find an older friend/hero/role model for a student who has been bullied. A cousin, neighbor or family friend who is four to five years older than the student can be a fantastic resource for the student. Because the person is older, the student likely will listen to their counsel. Yet, because they aren`t much older (i.e. not as old as parents!) the student likely also will perceive them to "get it." The combination of credibility and identification provided by a slightly older friend can offer the student support, advice, and hope for better days to come.
- Buy the student a journal and encourage him or her to write openly and honestly about how he or she is feeling. Bottling up the emotions caused by bullying can cause lasting damage to self-esteem. Because many victims of bullying are embarrassed by their situation (they feel they somehow "deserve" the treatment), they are quite unlikely to talk about their plight, or their feelings, with other friends, siblings, or parents. A journal can provide a safe outlet for their emotions.
- Provide a student who has been bullied with chances to excel. Whether in academics, music, sports, video games, or hot-dog eating competitions, help the student find something he or she enjoys doing and has the potential to do very well in with a little practice. Developing authentic self-confidence about a skill or talent can go a long way toward silencing the negative internal voice that says "I`m not valuable"---the voice bullying too often activates in a victim`s mind.