Angry. Helpless. Afraid. Guilty.

All of these words describe how parents feel when they realize that their student is being bullied. Bullying is a serious issue as it can cause both physical and emotional damage to a student. Prolonged bullying also can set up a cycle of harassment. Sadly, if a bully is popular, other kids may join in with the teasing to gain the bully`s approval. In these cases, bullying a particular student can become a "cool" thing to do in a school or neighborhood.

Investigate

While many resources will promise parents sure-fire ways to protect their kids from being bullied, let us assure you that, unfortunately, there are no absolute safe-guards. Because many different factors can encourage some students to harass others, each situation is unique. There is no single solution.

Thus, our best advice is that parents should carefully consider all of the factors that seem to be at play in their student`s particular situation. For example, is this a one-time occurrence or a long-term problem for your student? Is your student the victim of a single peer, a small group of peers, or seemingly most other students at his/her school? Is the bullying occurring at school or in other locations? Does your student have at least one good friend for positive peer interaction or is your student socially isolated (i.e. are bullying encounters your student`s only peer-to-peer interaction?)

Seek Assistance

By identifying all of the factors involved in your student`s situation, you will be better prepared both to seek out assistance and to support your student. If the bullying is occurring at school, alert your student`s teacher(s), guidance counselor/social worker, and the school principal. Provide each of those people with as much information as you have about the situation. Ask them for 1) any advice they have for you in how you might be able to help your student manage the situation; and 2) any actions the school might take to help your student and prevent future problems.

Please be careful to consider how some actions by the school might cause a "boomerang" effect. When possible, encourage the school to find solutions that will reduce the risk of future problems while also protecting your student from retribution. For example, a plan to work with the other student`s parents and teachers to help the student develop empathy may help dramatically and also will not require that your student be identified to the bully as the "tattletale."