When children experience stress, they seldom know how to define it. They often express it by telling adults that their stomachs hurt, they have headaches, or they can’t go to school. Adults need to realize that when children describe such symptoms, they really may be trying to tell us that they are stressed out!

Basic Facts

Causes of Stress

Although demands in life are natural, we experience stress when we are unable to cope and/or believe or are unaware that we do not have the resources to meet such demands. As each of us possesses diverse abilities and levels of confidence in them, our reactions to life’s challenges vary widely. For example, a roller coaster ride may be a thrill to one child and a major stressor to another. Every person reacts to stressors (events in the environment and/or perceptions that cause stress) in different ways. The sources of stress also differ based on stages of development. For example, children in elementary school are stressed about issues related to fear of abandonment and the unknown. On the other hand, teens tend stress over fitting in with their peers and developmental changes related to puberty.

However, there are some common factors that can cause stress for all students. According to today’s children and teens, the most primary sources of stress are peer relationships, as well as school and home environments.

Peer relations are extremely important to most youth and appear to become more and more significant as children grow. While most kids want to be accepted by peers, many times they don’t and that fact is taking toll on American children. Victims of bullying experience a great deal of stress. In addition, children without a strong sense of self can be especially susceptible to negative peer pressure. They often feel the need to follow the crowd to be accepted.

Stressors specifically related to school include fear of failure, test anxiety, and/or viewing oneself as academically inadequate. A new stressor is “high stakes testing” as children sense the importance of the occasion. Moving to a new school and transitioning from elementary school to middle school are also stressful events for most youth. Other school-related stressors include unclear expectations and lack of structure in the classroom.

Although children should be able to escape stress at home, the fact is that many cannot. A large number of children experience stress due to “latchkey” situations, lack of structure, and poor boundaries. Parental expectations, whether they are too high or too low, can also cause children stress. Domestic violence can cause an enormous amount of stress -- whether or not a child is the actual target of abuse. Changes in the home environment, such as a divorce, can create a feeling of instability, as well.

In the 1970s and 1980s, major life events were considered to be the main source of stress-related illness. It was believed that we could determine whether people were under too much stress by asking if they had experienced to events such as death in the family, a job change, or a move to a new home. However, researchers later found that “hassles” or daily problems were just as likely to be predictors for emotional and/or physical illnesses as were major life events. They realized that stress is most often cumulative.

The impact of cumulative stress can be seen when we see children who handle many stressful events adequately, suddenly sick or to “lose it” over the slightest injustice. When they finally react to cumulative stress, everyone is often surprised by the response. However, when they look back at what was going on in the children’s lives, the array of contributing factors is usually clearly evident.

Identifying Students Under Stress

Stress can be both positive and negative. Helpful stress, also referred to as eustress, has the power to energize us to solve problems and accomplish goals. However, harmful stress, known as distress, can adversely affect our bodies, minds, and/or behaviors.

Reactions to stress vary from one youth to another. Children will develop individual styles of handling stress and those styles may change with age. As mentioned earlier, symptoms of stress in young children are often difficult to distinguish from symptoms of minor illnesses. Common symptoms include irritability, stomachaches, and headaches. Fearful children may use words such as "feeling bad" or "afraid” to express distress. Periods of stubbornness and/or regression to earlier behavior are often indicative of too much stress. Behavioral warning signs may include:

• Tardiness;
• Daydreaming or withdrawal;
• Excessive tears;
• Inappropriate laughter;
• Fidgeting;
• Rudeness;
• Constant need for praise and attention;
• Changes in academic performance; and
• Giving up on assignments too quickly.

As children approach or reach middle school, their responses to stress may include attention-seeking behaviors, mood changes, anger, aggressive behavior, rudeness to adults and others, avoidance of certain activities, changes in the quality of schoolwork, as well as common physical complaints (headaches and/or upset stomachs). Overt anxiety or anxiety mixed with depression is not uncommon. Children and adolescents may also react to stress by regression to behaviors of someone much younger, the pattern being somewhat like an adult who has a temper tantrum as a response to stress.

Distressed adolescents are often truant, lack commitment to schoolwork, and are indifferent to school rules and policies. They are also often unwilling to participate in school activities. Students this age are frequently exposed to alcohol and other drugs and, as a result, they run the risk of trying to cope with stress by experimenting with these substances.

Children and youth exposed to extreme stress in the form of a traumatic event such as war, violence at school, or accidental death of an immediate family member, need special care which should usually be provided by a qualified mental health professional, not the classroom teacher. After a little break from the routine and/or crisis counseling, many children appear okay -- yet they may still be in shock and exhibit some symptoms. Children, who demonstrate intense emotions after a traumatic event, need to be reassured that they are having normal reactions to an abnormal occurrence. They need to feel “normal” after a tragic event, and this can be the most valuable support a school community can offer. If symptoms of intense anxiety, irritability, or unnatural fears present themselves at a later date, be empathic. However, keep in mind that a referral to a mental health professional may be in order.

Interventions

Prevention: How Can We Inoculate Children From the Harmful Effects of Stress?

• Let children know: they can trust you (be honest, reliable, and on time); their school and classroom is safe; and they are important members of the school community.
• Encourage the expression of feelings. Awareness of feelings is one of the major building blocks to self-awareness. When listening to an account of the day`s experiences, ask children how they felt about the day, as well as what they did.
• Help children and adolescents learn how to problem solve. Taking responsibility for their decisions helps them to feel that they can be in control. Children and teens with be strongest coping skills usually have experienced the satisfaction of successfully solving problems.
• Teach and model emotional regulation. The earlier one learns to use emotions to facilitate (rather than interfere) with setbacks, the better the child’s response to stress will be.
• Develop a proactive classroom that is productive and has limited disruptions.
• Explain what is expected in your classroom and why.
• Encourage physical activity as a means of releasing stress.
• Set realistic behavioral expectations based on each child’s developmental level.
• Keep children informed of necessary and anticipated changes within the school or community. Even moving to a new classroom can be a stressor.
• Involve children as helpers and encourage them to make responsible decisions.
• Promote healthy relationships by modeling positive interactions with others. A network of friends for you and your children buffers against distress and negative peer relationships.
• Realize that children (probably in middle school) will be exposed to drugs and alcohol. Let them know that self-medicating with alcohol and drugs is not the way to cope with stress.

Teacher-based Interventions

Teachers have a powerful influence on youngsters -- both positive and negative. When stressors escalate in the classroom, the most important first step is to avoid a global personalized response (such as calling a student a “bad girl” or a group of them “disturbed kids”). Focus instead on the inappropriate behaviors (“five children are not in their seats!”). Then, as a teacher, you can proceed to:

• Evaluate your classroom schedule regularly. Consider whether it has become too demanding or not demanding enough.
• Be aware of children’s behaviors and emotions. Help them to find things that give them personal pleasure. Encourage children to talk to you if there was a problem during the day.
• If a family has “moved in” from a new neighborhood and the child is “lost” or struggling, help the child to feel a part of the school and community. A call home after the first day or week of school may be appropriate.
• Monitor the television programs that children watch in school (including news broadcasts which can produce worries and anxiety). Pay particular attention to and provide supervision for computer games and the use of the internet.
• When a child makes a poor decision, listen without being critical, encourage the child to use reflective thought, and use natural consequences as punishment.
• Over scheduling children in group activities can produce a great deal of stress. Find time for children to play alone and in smaller groups, as well.
• If a problem occurs at school that is not resolved, contact the parent. Most parents want to be informed and can help.
• If signs of stress do not disappear or a child or adolescent has been a victim of a traumatic experience, seek professional help or advice.